Dearest Reader,

I decided to get a head start on this “fighting my flirting fears” thing and made a b-line for a local bar with dancing.  I had already vetted the place.  It’s not a 20 something hang-out and there are no cars in the parking lot worth more than my condo.

Upon entering, a guy catches my eye because I’m certain he has not caught anyone else’s eye.  He is unattractive; thus he is not intimidating and the perfect man for some flirting practice!  Also, I figure he might appreciate the attention, so I head over his way.  Couples are pulling some complicated esoteric dance moves and I turn to him and crack, “How come you’re not dancing?”  He pauses and looking slightly panicked, points to the opposite end of the bar and responds in a squeaky voice, “My girlfriend is over there.”

I consider this guy for a beat, a whole lot of dialogues running through my head, and decide to take Kenny Rogers’ sage advice:  You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away.
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XO M.J.

Dearest Reader,

Do one thing every day that scares you.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

There is something very empowering in throwing caution to the wind, getting down and dirty, and battling your fears.  You walk away, with your back a little straighter, knowing you had the grit to take on those demons.  With time, stretching your fear-fighting muscle can become a habit creating an emboldened you.  With each new challenge, you become a cage fighter yelling, “Bring it on!” with new found guts and determination propelling you forward, making you more and more unstoppable.

Flirting is my terror trigger   If I see an interesting man in a coffee shop, I can’t start a conversation.  I would never approach a guy at the grocery store or go to a sports bar by myself to watch a game.  If I see a man looking at me with interest, I always avert my eyes. I worry about being embarrassed or looking stupid or being rejected.  That, dear reader, is a life based on fear and a recipe for a whole lot of missed opportunities.  My New Year’s Resolution is to get out there and not be so darn fearful. I want to figure out a way to meet that guy in the coffee shop or grocery store.  Right now, my only strategies are dumping coffee in his lap or knocking over a fruit display. I may need more help than I thought…

And then I’m going to blog about it.   You can offer me suggestions because I sure don’t know what I’m doing! You, dear reader, can sit in the judge’s booth displaying your number cards:  6 for technique! 2 for creativity!  10 for tenacity!  And maybe this little blog will inspire you to get out there too!

My business partner Patty, whom I call Wordsmith, came up with the perfect catch phrase for this resolution.  Instead of Happy New Year’s, we’re calling it Happy No Fears!
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XO M.J.