Sometimes it feels like your online dating profile pic is from the Sesame Street song: One of These Things is Not Like the Others. And you’re one of those things that “doesn’t belong.” You find:
*Paraphrasing Wanda Gag: Boobs here, boobs there, boobs and more boobs everywhere. Almost (yours is one of the few exceptions) every picture features the de rigueur cleavage.
*One of the other exceptions shows a gal casually doing the splits looking all come-hither.
*Another positions the camera from behind so it’s hard to tell if she has any clothes on.
*On a competing site, a woman has a martini precariously perched between her breasts. (As I said, always more cleavage…)
*Another just happens to be photographed riding a bike in her thong bikini.
*There’s one profile with no picture…just a bunch of cats. (You wonder about her response rate.)
*Further down the page, a woman is reclining on the sofa with a fishtail, in place of her legs, in some kind of mad mermaid move.
*And then there are the body parts: a pair of legs seductively crossed at the ankle, a toned arm with a hint of that ubiquitous boobage, and the perfect heart-shaped butt.
Somehow, your cute little smiling selfie melts in this cavalcade of hotness and all that’s left is a puddle of prudishness. You wonder if the cat lady had the right idea...