Lady Profile Pix: Cleavage and Thong Bikinis

   Sometimes it feels like your online dating profile pic is from the Sesame Street song:  One of These Things is Not Like the Others.  And you’re one of those things that “doesn’t belong.”  You find:

*Paraphrasing Wanda Gag:  Boobs here, boobs there, boobs and more boobs everywhere.  Almost (yours is one of the few exceptions) every picture features the de rigueur cleavage.

*One of the other exceptions shows a gal casually doing the splits looking all come-hither.

*Another positions the camera from behind so it’s hard to tell if she has any clothes on.

*On a competing site, a woman has a martini precariously perched between her breasts.  (As I said, always more cleavage…)

*Another just happens to be photographed riding a bike in her thong bikini.

*There’s one profile with no picture…just a bunch of cats. (You wonder about her response rate.)

*Further down the page, a woman is reclining on the sofa with a fishtail, in place of her legs, in some kind of mad mermaid move.

*And then there are the body parts: a pair of legs seductively crossed at the ankle, a toned arm with a hint of that ubiquitous boobage, and the perfect heart-shaped butt. 

   Somehow, your cute little smiling selfie melts in this cavalcade of hotness and all that’s left is a puddle of prudishness.  You wonder if the cat lady had the right idea...