Presenting the Cool Chick!

    In Gillian Flynn’s bestselling novel Gone Girl, the protagonist  

talks about being the “cool chick”.  She wants her man to fall in love with her so she denies her own aspirations and desires to become his dream girl.  As a result, she gets the guy but compromises her soul in the process.  

   Here is the BIG problem:  Not only is the “cool chick” setting up unrealistic expectations for her relationship, she also is doing it for the rest of us.  Men see these idealized women and start expecting everyone to behave accordingly.  Those of us who would like honest, authentic relationships cannot be ourselves and cool at the same time and thus begins the frustration. 

   Unfortunately, there are plenty of you “cool chicks” out there!  You know who you are, but if you’re in total denial, here is a list of some of your “cool chick” moves:

• You drop everything when he calls for a last minute date.  You are just easy going that way.  You are the “cool chick.”
• You wear sexy low cut tops and stiletto heels looking a little prostitute-y because you know how much he likes other guys lusting after you.  You are the “cool chick.”
• He is an hour late and gives some flimsy excuse.  No big deal.  You are easy going and such a “cool chick.”
• You watch an entire season of football games with him, even though you hate football.  Can you spell “cool chick.”
• You allow offensive talk about women.  You are not like them.  You are in a separate category called “cool chick.”
• He has hit a rough patch and you need to be understanding and pay for your dates.  What a dumb “cool chick.”
• You hang out with him at the sports bar and all his friends say they wish their girlfriends were like you.  Not everyone can be the “cool chick!”
• You say you do not like women and get along with men so much better.  You are the Benedict Arnold of women and a low-life “cool chick.”

    STOP IT RIGHT NOW!  Not only are you swimming in a huge vat of Not Happy, you are forcing the rest of us to swim with you.  By you compromising yourself, you are sending a message to all men that this is what women do.  They expect it of the rest of us and we are SICK OF IT. 
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    So, what do us non-cool chicks do?  Perhaps we should unionize and come up with a conduct contract declaring a boycott on cool chick-ery.  None of us put down our gender.  None of us sell our soul for a relationship and none of us become someone we are not.  Of course, there will be scabs among us and we will need to figure out a relevant way to deal with their actions. Perhaps, it is enough to live a life of inauthentic relationships, acting like someone else, and the consequences of those “cool chick” choices.